Saturday, 29 September 2012

Letter to my pregnant self

Today marks my son's 9 month birthday. I can't believe he's now been in the world for as long as he was in my tummy; time definitely flies when you're having fun. It has got me thinking though, about how much can change in a month, a week, a day.

It feels like 18 years not 18 months ago that I was worrying and asking myself: 'How hard will my labour be?' 'What if I don't bond with my baby' 'How will I deal with the sleep deprivation?' 'Will my relationship with my husband change?' 'What if I'm a bad mother?' 'Am I ready for this?!' 'What if I'm not ready for this?!'

I wish I had started this journey knowing a few more things. So, what would I have told my pregnant self if I could?

Dear pregnant Mel,

I have some things I want you to know.

Most of what you have worried about in your life will seem
trivial once your baby is born, so you need to stop worrying. NOW. Your perspective on the world is about to change, and that "thing" you've been waiting for your whole life is about to happen.

Labour will not be as bad as you were expecting. Your husband will get cramp in his arm whilst in the delivery room, but you will get through it together! Haha. You will only remember the good bits anyway.
Me and Joshua, taken Sept 2012 by Ted & Li Photography

Don't fantasise about what it will be like when you first see your baby. You will be so tired and overwhelmed, that moment will be a haze. You won't truly fall in love until he smiles at you for the first time several weeks later, after which your heart will never be the same again.

Despite him constantly spinning, kicking and doing aerobics in the womb, he will be a calm, content and laid back baby. Don't tell the other mums when he starts sleeping through the night at seven weeks - no-one wants to hear it and no-one will have sympathy for you when you're trying to figure out why he's waking up every 2 hours again!

You will love your husband even more when you see him as a Dad.

Your baby will have your husband's eyes and your cheeks. Invest in a good lip balm so the thousands of kisses you give those cheeks each day will be soft.

He will suck his thumb, grow chubby rolls on his thighs, sing to himself and have little leaf-like ears that make your heart melt. You will ban him from ever playing rugby the moment you see those ears, and worry about the first time he brings a girlfriend home as soon as you see him charm everyone with that grin. 

Don't bother with baby-exercise, flash cards or memory games. He will learn to sit, babble, wave, stand and clap without them.

You will have time to clean the house, tidy toys, shower, make the bed and keep everything organised. What you will soon realise is the child you love so passionately cannot be organised, nor can you save him from every danger and scenario in his life. While your outside world will remain in order you will have to deal with the chaos in your heart, and let your little one be his own person.

Every stage of his babyhood will come with its own set of challenges and benefits, but he will grow up so quickly you will miss the challenges when they're no longer there. You must enjoy every moment. Trust me, the first 9 months of his life will go a thousand times quicker than the 9 months you're counting now.

You are about to spend more time with yourself, with your thoughts, than you ever have before. So finally, be kind to yourself.

Enjoy the ride!
Love me



12 comments:

  1. So lovely Mel. So nice to see you so happy! Miss u. Nic x

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    1. Miss you too darling, we must chat soon x

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  2. Oh Mel. What a beautiful post. I loved reading xx

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    1. Thanks honey - hope you and Wolf are well xox

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  3. That was great to read Mel with less than two months to go for me now! And you know what I'm like about children....
    So looking forward to introducing our sprouts at Christmas time.
    lots of love, Bean xxx

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    1. Can't wait either! You're going to be a wonderful mum, and can't wait to see you in action. xox

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  4. you are so gorgeous Mel, so love your thoughts xxxx

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  5. this is beautiful Mel, thank you for sharing! xxx

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  6. This brought tears to my eyes (but what doesn't these days...). xx

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    1. Lovely to hear your comments, not that my intention was to make people cry! Yes, I am soooo teary these days too x

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