Wednesday, 14 May 2014

Why mums of more-than-one rock

I like myself so much better as a mum of two instead of a mum of one.

A pretty bold statement I know, but let me explain. I had this realisation the other day at our local library. After dropping off big brother to his second ever morning at crèche, I decided to take little sister to her first ever Wriggle & Rhyme to enjoy some rare one-on-one time together. While waiting for the session to begin, I overheard the group of mums next to me discussing - at great length - whether their babies had or hadn't sat up on their own yet. One baby was happily sitting there unaided, while another would sit for a short time before slumping to the side, and the other was sitting propped up against his mummy. The conversation continued for an unnecessarily long time, as each mum tried to out do the other with stories about their infants over-achieving in the sitting department.

I looked down at my little ballerina lying on the floor, happily kicking her legs in the air and shoving her chubby feet into her mouth, and I thought "thank goodness I don't care about whether she's sitting or not, I'm just glad to have a stationary child for a little while longer!" I felt enlightened. I had always hoped that I would be a relaxed, go-with-the-flow kind of mum; one who would be down on the floor playing and making mess instead of just following the chaos and cleaning up; one who would gently encourage instead of simply checking off milestones. And here I was - not quite the carefree hippy mum of my dreams, but nevertheless certainly relaxed, definitely content, and not at all worried if my little bubba was sitting up, lying down or doing the moon walk. It felt good to be on this side of the fence (even if, dare I say it, I was being a little judgemental of those on the other side)!

But it didn't take long for the memories to kick in, because - of course - I did very much care about 'sitting' and 'puree' and other such milestones to a near-obsessive degree when all I had to think about was my one little boy. I only need to read some of my earlier Latte Mum posts to realise this is true, and I cringe to think how I must have sounded to other seasoned mums around me when I was going on about blackout blinds, bumbos, organic cotton clothing and other ridiculous things that mean nothing and have no bearing on what your child does or does not do in life.

As a mum of two, I now know that my little one will reach each milestone eventually and the sky won't cave in if she doesn't sit on her own within the recommended time frame. I know she'll be fine if I don't wake her for a dream feed one night, or if I don't interrupt her playtime to immediately change her nappy, or if I don't quarantine her from the rest of the world if she has a runny nose. I know she's just as happy to go with the flow as I am, which is why I've quit fussing [as much] and just let her be.

Yep, I like myself so much better as a more relaxed mum of two, and I'm sure my kids do too.

Wow - a baby sitting AND typing his thesis!
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