Friday, 8 August 2014

Day 2: More Mindfulness, less Witching Hour please!

Day 2 of my Mindfulness journey, and I couldn't sleep last night as my mind was going 100 miles an hour with thoughts and ideas and things I needed to do. Ironic. Maybe I need this Mindfulness thing more than I thought - pardon the pun.

It meant I did get up relatively early to sneak in a shower, wash my hair, get dressed and do my make up before getting the kids up. This process alone, without fail, always makes me feel a million dollars and just gets the day off to a cracker start. It's not always like this, obviously, but getting my game face on and PJs off is just my style and helps me tackle the day with positivity. I must remember this.

At least the day has gotten off to a better start than yesterday.

Keeping in mind my Mindfulness tasks for this week, I sat on a different section of the couch to do bub's morning breastfeed (sit on a different chair - check), and as the exercise intended I did get a whole new perspective - straight into the neighbours lounge window (and vice versa)! Oops. Not ideal. At least the exercise was [somewhat] successful.

Totally forgot to focus on the process of brushing my teeth (focus on a menial task - uncheck). Instead I did my usual routine of asking my toddler to get his shoes, jumper and drink bottle from his room, then plonking him on to the toilet, and then brushing his hair - all with a toothbrush hanging out of my mouth. Will have to work on that particular Mindfulness exercise tomorrow then.

Had a brilliant and peaceful morning after the little man trotted off to music with his Nonnie - an activity they both seem to love, and I love too as it gives me some rare one-on-one time with my youngest. It was catch-up day with my coffee group mid-morning, which I absolutely love and look forward to. They're such a gorgeous bunch of mums, and I've realised this is one of the few times that I practise Mindfulness without even realising. I can easily focus on my cup of coffee, and listen intently to the mums there, and it's not until I'm walking back to my car that I remember to check my phone and the rest of the day floods over me - what do I have in the fridge for lunch, I must reschedule next week's swimming lessons, I haven't heard from X in a while I wonder how they are, I hope the breakfast crumbs have miraculously disappeared by the time I get home otherwise I'll have to make time to vacuum this afternoon, damn I need to get petrol etc. etc. etc. Makes me exhausted even typing it!

Forced myself to do round 1 of the meditation just after lunch. Couldn't seem to focus as much as yesterday and it seemed to take forever for the 8 minutes to be over, but it's done.

My afternoon involved more catch ups. The littlest one seems to be past the worst of her separation anxiety phase (yahoo!) and was happy to chat and cuddle [almost] everyone - just like she was a couple of months ago. Really happy it's looking like I have my social little girl back.

But one thing's for sure - it doesn't matter how well the day has gone or how "zen" I might be feeling, when the 4pm Witching Hour hits my entire universe gets tipped on it's head. I guess a grizzling / crying / screaming baby, dinner x 3 to prepare and a hyper-active toddler will do that to you. Relentless is the only way I can describe it, and it unravels my fabulous day in an instant.

Of course the kids dinner time doesn't go smoothly either, and after the sixth serious gag-near-choke from my little baby in her highchair, I decide she's had enough solids for one day and can have her milk feed early. Enter anxiety and this unshakeable fear that she just about choked to death.

By the time they're in bed, I'm feeling completely frazzled, frantic and exhausted. Again.

Perhaps not the best time (or maybe it is?) to do round 2 of my meditation for the day, but I had a window of opportunity that I needed to take. I completely zoned out of what the man on the CD was even saying for the first few minutes - epic fail. Tried to get my mind to focus on my breath like the meditation teaches, but was so far away with a myriad of to-do lists that I barely noticed when the 8 minutes was up. On the plus side, when I opened my eyes I felt like I'd just had an 8 minute power nap (possible this is actually what happened) and was feeling a bit more refreshed. A bonus I guess!

All in all, am looking forward to this Mindfulness thing again tomorrow!

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