Monday, 22 September 2014

Escaping the world

I've escaped.

Yesterday we packed up the car, put the kids in their car seats, and left the city for my parent's farm house. We're here for four glorious days.

As I type, I'm looking out the huge bay windows at trees laden with citrus fruits, with paddocks and paddocks of lush green grass spreading over the rolling hills as far as the eye can see. I can hear an orchestra of chirps from the flurries of birds dancing around the treetops. I've spotted the fluffy white tail of a little bunny hopping under the hedge (might be the same one my toddler said 'hello' to down the rabbit hole this morning). The smell of just-baked banana loaf fills the house, and will soon be sliced to go with our afternoon coffees.

It feels like a dream.

It is impossible to not feel refreshed and alive and at peace out here.

At this moment, I'm halfway through the process of learning Mindfulness in a bid to become less anxious and more relaxed in my life. If you've been following me for a while, you'll know that Mindfulness has provided some helpful tools that allow me to feel calmer and more focused. It is teaching me how to ignore some of the negative and meaningless chatter in my head and how to enjoy the present moment instead of always worrying about the future.

But, I just can't shake this feeling that it's a little flawed; that it's actually not the ultimate fix I was hoping it would be.

Because the place in which we find ourselves, and the people that surround us, and the circumstances in which we're living in, DO matter and DO affect us. Focusing on ourselves and adopting self-help remedies in the hope that we'll find peace can only be one piece of the puzzle. It does not change the fact that shitty things happen in our lives, that negative people can poison our thoughts or that we're sometimes living in a world that's too busy to be beautiful.

Being out here in the open countryside for a day, with the fresh air and vibrant colours and lack of traffic noise, seems to have done more for my soul than the last four weeks of Mindfulness combined. This change in scenery, this escape to another place is what I needed at this point. We eat better here and we sleep better here too, which I'm sure contributes to the overall feeling of health and vitality.

I've come to realise that what I actually need and want is to learn acceptance. Acceptance of myself, acceptance from others and acceptance of this life. I want to be at peace with things the way they are, accepting of whatever is to come and accepting of this [often ugly] world we live in.

I obviously still have a lot to learn.

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